Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
