who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can't turn off my feet"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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