she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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