Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
