you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
