I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
