please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
