Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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