I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
