What did we do last night that was yellow?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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