sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
