We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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