I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
too bad you live with your parents still
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
