You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
