Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
