I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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