I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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