We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
