You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
