Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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