do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
