"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
