its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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