so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
