He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
