Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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