I'm so fucking centered right now
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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