I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i barfeds in our rink
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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