Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
