Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
