I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
