My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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