this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
