you guys were way drunker than both of me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
