she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
