My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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