question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
