i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
