O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
