WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
