it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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