I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
