OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
