he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
