If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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