please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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