Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
