You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
