Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
