Me too!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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