i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Cover your peen. We're going out.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
