Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
